As I said, this year needs to end. Ugh, it just gets better and better... (sarcasm)

I gotta admit my Christmas was not great. I didn't get everything I wanted, because literally everything I wanted was sold out. Then my dad was sick. Even my gamer Uncle J (the least annoying one) was sick. So I ended up playing Smash Bros. alone all day and feeling lonely.

Then came the next day and I became sick. I spent half the day vomiting, hunched over in pain in my stomach, pain in my joints, and chills. I thought I had another kidney stone for a min, but the vomiting part was something new. Then I went to bed with a low-grade fever. I was able to sleep unlike last time thank God, but it was awful. I almost went back to the ER, but my arms are still healing from all the needles they poked me with from last time.

Anyway, then a disgusting porn Tumblr decided to reblog my selfies tagging it with things like "anal s**" and "teen porn". It gave me an anxiety attack from the sheer horror of it tbh. I'm officially done with Tumblr. Maybe deleting it real soon. As soon as they get off their butts and delete that blog off of mobile Tumblr anyways. It's kind of a wake-up call for me. Won't be posting any more selfies to public platforms and especially to Tumblr.

So now I'm sitting here with a semi-headache, but a lot better than I was. I finally just ate a plate of food. The other day after Christmas when I was most sick, my diet consisted of a peanut butter jelly sandwich and a dinner roll. Both I had to force down my throat.

So I'm going to sleep now. Just wanted to pop in to say "I'm sick again" and make sure Tumblr is actually doing their job in cleaning up the mess they created with the porn crap. New guidelines my ass!!!

Merry Christmas!

Didn't get everything I wanted, but I do have Smash Bros. so I'm off to play that. Have a good one all. 

Yep. Want this year to be over with. lol

In the span of 24 hours, I've gotten in a fight with a family member, I did pretty bad on my final exam and had to refer to my text for the retake to pass (despite studying my ass off), and I think I passed my kidney stone. I actually don't know. I just know I'm not in pain anymore, so that's a plus.

I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when it's X-mas. I would say New Year, but I want to play Smash Bros. Ultimate. 😋

I deleted a post in regards to my family drama tho because we're actually pretty boring people and I can't help, but think we sound like a bunch of crazies. I was really emotional too. I also don't want to devote any more post to a 60-year-old fart who think it's ok to threaten and get in the face of a 29-year-old girl. He hasn't even apologized and refuses to acknowledge he said anything in regards to my eating habits or weight. So we don't talk anymore and I like it that way! He is the most annoying person in Maryland, so his silence is bliss. As for who he is, he is an uncle. Great uncle isn't he?

Now that I'm done my final exam, I'm going build a freaking house and post sim related stuff.

P.S. I think I studied all the wrong stuff as usual, so that's why. Really frustrating.

RL Rant: I've been fat-shamed (not even "fat") for getting a kidney stone... (Seriously)

I would usually write this on my Tumblr on my phone out of boredom and angst, but since I'm logged out Tumblr in protest I'll stick it here.

If I wasn't tired and in pain, I might have physically assaulted someone the day I came home from the ER. I'm not even a violent person, but I was that mad and I get tired of people thinking they can say anything to me without consequence. My patience is thinning and I refuse to have my kindness taken for granted anymore. I'm done being a doormat. For anyone. Especially family.

Should be in bed. Posting my ER adventure here...

Copy and pasted from Tumblr (which I wrote on my phone this morning), because I can't be bothered to rewrite this any different. I shouldn't even be on here tbh. Sorta in pain right now, but I'm bored.

So I spent the night in the emergency room…

From 10pm at night to 6am this morning (Dec. 14-15). I was in pain the whole day yesterday (Friday) with pain on my right side. Felt like someone was burying their fist in my side. Not normal lady cramps. Aleve didn’t even work. That and other things that had me in the bathroom in pain. Plus some chills. So after trying to be a badass, I finally broke down and laid in a pool of tears curled up in a ball unable to sleep or eat or get comfortable. Just constant pain.

So I was off to the ER. I didn’t have to wait too long to get seen luckily on a Friday night. Felt like a long time though. They put me in a room and laid in a bed for a min. Then they came around and made me a pin cushion trying to find a vein as I was dehydrated. Ended up with 2 holes on each arm with a bonus as the needle pro of the ER tried and got it in almost the same place as the first hole. Then I waited some more and then they rolled me down to X-rays where they gave me a CAT scan. I never saw one in rl. xD It sorta weird. Especially the stuff they put in your IV for the x-ray. Made me feel like I peed myself and all my limbs got warm. 😅

Anyway, I ended up back in the room slightly curled up watching CNN till I got bored and changed to Ice Age 2. Obamacare got struck down? Whaaat?

So after making me wait an eternity, they finally came in and gave me a diagnosis. The lucky illnesses that were on the table were appendicitis, UTI, and or just a really bad period mind you, but I had none of the above.

I have a freaking Kidney Stone!

It’s tiny, but it still fucking sucks becuz it’s moving around being a bitch causing me pain.

So to recap I'm having my usual lady probz, getting over a cold, and now I have a kidney stone. Fun! I’m so lucky. 😒

P.S. I am lucky it wasn’t my appendix tho.

Simblr is in-danger of dying thanks to Tumblr (Just some added thoughts)

So far I've only had one DOA/zombie post approved, but the few that are flagged are still pending. A lot of simmers are talking about leaving though due to the new rules, which take effect December 17th. I sorta failed to mention how chaotic things were the day Tumblr surprised everyone with their guidelines. I was sorta busy being pissed about my own predicament. That and I was rushing the previous post with the feels. xD

I truly feel sorry for some Simblrs. Some of the most wholesome Simblrs are being flagged. It's weird. Then when Tumblr gets around to approving the flagged post they put them out of order on the front page. Freaking annoying!

I think violence in regards to stories and fantasy should be allowed obviously. Especially when it comes to pixels. I do get banning things like real pictures of real corpses and animal abuse, but stupid stuff like fantasy creatures and pixels acting out action scenes shouldn't be. They need to make that rule a bit clearer imo.

As for nudity, I think the whole nipple rules are stupid. Especially when shirtless men are being flagged. Like, come on! I do think real life pictures of nudity can go because I personally am not looking for such things when I go to my simblr. You can also go to any porn site if you want porn and nudes, so like I'm cool with that being banned. Now for sims, I think along as the pic is tasteful and not straight up porn then I think it should be allowed. Now I do get tired of seeing sim peen, cc sex toys, and various other eye-opening pics on my dash, so maybe I'm biased. I don't know, but porn comes in many forms and there are definitely some really graphic sim stories out there.

Anyway, if Simblr dies you can blame Tumblr. They should have implemented a better system to get rid of porn bots. They should have pre-warned and simply just ask their users. They also should have focused on getting rid of nazis on the site too. You can't find a single nude pic in search now, but you sure can find nazis and white nationalist still on that site. Things that make you say "hmmmmm...."

Anyway, I'll stick around and watch the mess with popcorn. See if I can get away with posting my slutty gore still.😜

I'll also post here more because I forgot how nice and freeing it is over here. lol

Tumblr goes censorship crazy! Bye tumblr! Hi again Blogspot!

Violent Content and Threats, Gore and Mutilation. Don’t post violent content or gore just to be shocking. Don’t showcase the mutilation or torture of human beings, animals (including bestiality), or their remains. Don’t post content that encourages or incites violence, or glorifies acts of violence or the perpetrators.

“Adult content primarily includes photos, videos, or GIFs that show real-life human genitals or female-presenting nipples, and any content—including photos, videos, GIFs and illustrations—that depicts sex acts...."

Thank you tumblr for officially fucking me over!!! Byeeeee!

At this moment, I feel like just deleting my tumblr and calling it day. Most of Simblr ignores me anyway. Even people following me ignore me. Like what's the point of following me?! I don't know why I posted there so long. I think my time in the sim community is coming closer and closer to the end. This sure feels like a sign. I'm not a fan of the simmers that frequent Tumblr anyway. I've met some really great TS4 simmers and some new faces in the TS3 community through it, so it's not everyone. It's just not the same though. Not the same friendly vibe I knew and kept coming back too. Too much clique behavior and high school pettiness.

I feel very unloved right now in the sim community sometimes if you can tell. Very frustrated and ignored. Does anyone even still read this blog? *sigh*

Well, I'll post what I've written for DOA Season 2, see if I still have it in me to play the actual game, and bow out sometime soon. Probably at the beginning of next year.

But meh bye tumblr. Whatever.

P.S. Simblr is in chaos over this. Not just me. 

Bad Boys & Broads: Round 7 Pic & Scores (Sorta the Finale)

1ST PLACE

⚔💀 ROUND 8 - Pirate Pair (Unexpected Finale) 💀⚔

Arrrrrr! 1st place baby!

Too many people were no-shows, so it got cut short. Nice to go out on top though.

I got this niffy treasure.

Couldn't give me a 1st place sig though huh?

I have no judge's comments for you mateys because everybody was too busy and dealing with stuff. 

This pic is all in-game though and the boat is even in-game as it's a cc houseboat. I had to add waves to hide some stuff (as I'm horrible at placing houseboats), but it looks great. Only thing I really added was the waves, the parrot, the starfish, rainbow, and Jade's hat shadow. I'm quite proud of it. Arrrr!!!!

Anyway, I'm officially retired. The ship has sailed. This is the last sim modeling post. My blog will be dedicated to my DOA story, maybe some gameplay, and my journey as a studying vet technician for the remainder of my time here. 

I'm going be posting here more frequent now as Tumblr is a sinking ship with no gore and nudity rules now. Never fit in there anyway. *shrugs*

Caught on Candid Camera- Finale Scenario

2ND PLACE (TIE)

Finale Scenario - Christmas Spirit

Semi Finale Scenario summed up by me- Christmas Day Opening Presents

Got 3rd overall though...

Vet Tech Studying and Ear infections. RL currently.

Do you know how to pronounce pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis? I do. I just learned how to. It's a disease caused by breathing in volcanic dust. It's one of the longest words recorded or something like that. It was in my vet tech terminology study guide. I probably will never use it, but they broke it down so I could understand the different parts of the medical terminology I'll be using. This is probably the hardest part so far, but I've made flashcards. Hopefully, it sticks to my brain soon. Hate to alter my exam schedule.

Anywhoo, I'm not here to blather about my studies to you. Just here to update you on everything going on in rl for me. As you can tell I'm really happy and dedicated to my veterinarian technician program. I've only failed one exam so far, but I retook it and got a 95. My exam grades so far range from 100 to the 80s. I haven't cheated or peeked in my textbook. The exams are open book mind you, but it's stupid to rely on that when you really do need to memorize this stuff. Won't have any text when I take my proctor exams that's for sure. I actually enjoy it though. I like ran out of flash cards this evening and I'm actually pretty annoyed I can't finish writing down the terms I need to study. I spend a lot of time studying. Especially around this time when everyone is sleep. xD

Bad Boys & Broads: Round 7 Pic & Scores

2ND PLACE

🤠💃🔧ROUND 7 - Steampunk Pair🔧💃🤠

Last minute literally. I almost dropped...again. Glad I didn't since I like this piccie. 😊

Caught on Candid Camera- Semi-Final Scenario

2ND PLACE

Semi-final Scenario - Night Camping

Semi Finale Scenario summed up by me- Pretty obvious. Show your sims on a camping trip at night.

Models: Nicole Riley-Payne, Malcolm Payne, & Michelle Payne

This pic makes me feel warm and fuzzy. 😊

RIP Stan Lee

Thanks for making up a big part of my childhood and adulthood.

Dead On Arrival~ Episode 25: Decayed Poll (Help Lin and Tao or Help Doctor Aaron Pinto?)

Help Dr. Aaron Pinto? -or- Help Lin and Tao?

I would say this may result in a death, but since it took me so long I may not get many votes and I have plans for these characters in the sorta reset. Whoever you choose though will result in an injury or an attitude change towards Nate. Maybe even their psyche. You decide! 

You will see what happens in Vol. 2. via flashback and dialogue. Like I said, I don’t expect many votes, but I’ll work with what I get.

Vote at >>pollmaker! All votes are anonymous at less you comment.

Dead On Arrival~ Episode 25: Decayed (Part 3)

Episode 25: Decayed (Part 3)

The last time I had been knocked out I awoke to the smells and sounds of a hospital ward. This time I awoke to smells of death and the unbearable shrieking of the dead. I wasn’t sure where I was. I wasn’t even sure what happened, but I knew something had happened to me. I shook my head trying to shake off the sensation of it all and I squinted trying to adjust to the darkened room I found myself in now. My head felt like it was underwater looking through someone else’s eyes and my body felt like a ton of bricks.

Dead On Arrival~ Episode 25: Decayed (Part 2)

Episode 25: Decayed (Part 2)

My mind was spinning trying to comprehend what we had seen. I wanted to believe that there was safety in amongst these walls. Safety amongst the darkness that lurked within, but the world was again caving in on us. Driving us away from any semblance of normalcy and security. I wanted to curse myself for getting too comfortable. For playing native when I clearly saw the writing on the wall. Was Madison right all along? Was this place doomed from the start?

“CURFEW COMMENCING…”

“Fuck curfew!” Matthew roared.

“Language!”

“Oh please, Nate. He’s a teenager. Get real!”

Dead On Arrival~ Episode 25: Decayed (Part 1)

If you need a fun reminder/flashback of the previous events click here.

Episode 25: Decayed (Part 1)

What happened in the storage room seem to set the tone for the next two months. A cloud of tension and despair hovered over the sanctuary like a thick fog. There were more armed guards roaming the halls more than ever now and the looks on some faces seem to say it all. Something in the atmosphere had changed. Not overnight as one might assume. No, it felt like something that was long coming. That was festering long before we set foot in this place. In fact, if it was up to Matthew we would have left months ago, but things were much more complicated than that. This place had food, medical supplies, and people. Weighing our options it seemed almost idiotic to just leave, but was staying even an option?

“Checkmate!” Omar smirked moving the chess piece across the board. Two of us sitting across from each other in his room spending a lazy afternoon shooting the breeze. A welcome distraction for us both.

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 6

2ND PLACE

Scenario 6-  Pool Party

Scenario 6 summed up by me- Your sim is reminiscing in the pool about the time when they were teens and was grounded for sneaking out. Show your teen sim sneaking off to a party. Include both pool and memory.

Models: Teen Nicole Riley, teen Malcolm Payne, Nicole's parents made in CAS, random teens, the back of teen Jade Scott's head. 

Bad Boys & Broads: Round 6 Pic & Scores

2ND PLACE

✌😎 ROUND 6 - Gang Leaders 😎✌

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 5

Again short and sweet.

2ND PLACE

Scenario 5 - Backyard BBQ

Models: Nicole Riley/Payne, Michelle Payne, Jasmine Lee, Jade Scott, Drew Kelly, Malcolm Payne, Smokey the cat, & Panda the dog. 

🎵 Summer Summer Summertimeeee! 🎶

This seriously makes me miss summer. Not the mosquito part of it though. Ew.

Bad Boys & Broads: Round 5 Pic & Scores

I'm behind on posting these things, so I'm keeping it short and sweet for the next few compy post. 

5TH PLACE (Last Place)

💀🔬ROUND 5 - Mad Scientists 🔬💀

Drew: Looks like someone needs a new leg. Good thing we got spare parts. Muhahaha!

Jade: Mmmm...yum..brains!

Cheerleader: AHHHHH!!! HELP ME!

Officially a college student now...again.

Vet tech baby!

So far math is a b*** and I'm learning how to navigate the site. I'm doing this all via online, so I don't even have to leave the house until I get to the externship part.

Anyway, I've been studying math all day. Kill me.

Bad Boys & Broads: Round 4 Pic & Scores

3RD PLACE

🃏 ROUND 4 - Super Villians 🃏

I was robbed! 

Well, I feel like it. Was hoping for 2nd or higher. Oh well. No need to get greedy I guess. 😕

Anywhoo, guess who! xP

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 4

5TH PLACE

Scenario 4- Precious Pets

Models: Malcolm Payne, Michelle Payne and introducing Panda, the pup

Scenario 4 summed up by me- Have your sim parent surprise their toddler or child with a furry friend (dog or cat).

Why didn't anyone tell me toddlers can't interact with pets?! Dangit!

Telltale Games UPDATE/RUMOR: Walking Dead to remain unfinished. Ends ep 2?

https://kotaku.com/sources-telltale-hit-with-major-layoffs-possible-shut-1829233618\

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/report-telltale-games-shutting-down-the-wolf-among-us-2-and-stranger-things-canceled

Nope. This is a bad dream. I won't believe it. I hope this isn't true. If so, I hope people can get a refund on their season passes. I'm sure glad I waited. Yikes.

RIP TellTale Games! It's over and Wolf Among Season 2 canceled! I'm in mourning!

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/report-telltale-games-shutting-down-the-wolf-among-us-2-and-stranger-things-canceled

I've been so excited for Wolf Among Us Season 2. I waited for years! YEARS!!! Now it's fucking canceled. Not only that I will never get to play or see Batman Season 3. I even liked Game of Thrones ok and that's donezo too. Literally, no more games from them. One of my favorite gaming companies is gone. I'm heartbroken! Devastated! I actually got teary eyed. This is worse than the time Capcom fucked up and didn't localize AA Investigations 2. Not only us gamers lose out, but the people working there lose their jobs also. This is awful. Awful!

At least they plan on finishing the Walking Dead series, but with a skeleton crew, I worry that it will be rushed and not a fitting end to the series. 

This is just fucking horrible. I can't even right now. All the time I've put into completing these games and now I will never get to see the results of my choices or see the ending of these beloved characters. Just when they were getting better too. Ugh. This literally ruined my day. Maybe week. So freaking sad. *sigh*

I'll miss you, Bigby! I'll miss you Bats and Cats! *cries*

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 3

1ST PLACE..again! Wooo!

Scenario 3- Broken Love

Models: Nicole Riley & Malcolm Payne with random

Scenario 3 summed up by me- Have your sim catch their lover cheating. 

Nicole: Malcolm! Your secretary?!

Malcolm: I..It's not what it looks like! She came on to me!

Nicole: I can't even look at you right now. I baked you a pie. Tonight was supposed to be special!

Bad Boys & Broads (named changed): Round 3 Pic & Scores

2ND PLACE

🔮 ROUND 3 - Gypsy Pair 🔮

Come one! Come all! For just $2...er $10 we can predict your future. No refunds though. Drew means it.

I did better than I thought, so yay.

Bad Boys & Biatches: Round 2 Pic & Scores

2ND PLACE

🦇 ROUND 2 ~  Vampire Pair 🦇

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 2

1ST PLACE!!!

Scenario 2- Sporting Prowess

Model: Malcolm Payne

Scenario 2 summed up by me- Show your model kicking ass in a sport!

Beginning of the End. My Time in the Sim Community.

It's crazy. I wrote this post in 2017. A year ago. I've since adapted for this year and this time of my life, but it still reads the same and is eerily similar to my current thoughts. I guess it's time to finally unleash this on the simming world.

Ok, so this has been coming for a while now.  I've come to a decision that I'll be leaving the sims community very soon. It has become more of a chore than a stress reliever for me. Dragging myself on here sometimes is work. More work than fun really. Don't get me wrong I still love the game, but I've spent ridiculous amounts of time devoting my life to it and the community. I really started to notice it in 2016 before I wrote this. Maybe even as early as 2015, but this is waaaaaayyyy overdue obviously. I started this blog 8 years ago. I believe I was 21 at the time (fuck math). I had just turned 20 when I joined the community, so that's 9 years. Anyway, that's a long time. I've been on various forums/communities and I never stuck around long enough on any of them to make any friends like I've had here. So the sim community is something special to me.

Now I must say I'm not entirely done just yet as I plan to finish some things I've started. I want to have somewhat of a conclusion to my story, Dead on Arrival and I want to finish any competitions I'm in. I really don't like things unfinished. It feels wrong and I owe you. So within the next months, I'll be slowly clearing off my plate and taking time to finish those things at best I can. Even so, I will be around less and less as time goes on. It's not easy to consider that even, but my interest has shifted to more important things. Going back to school for a Vet tech degree, family, and my lack of a social life. It would also be nice to not have to stress about sim modeling, my editing skills, my few simblr likes, and having to post stuff just for the heck of it. lol I have enough anxiety as is and it's really not fun with my health issues sometimes.

Nevertheless, it's been a fun ride. A highly addicting ride. Sometimes stressful. Sometimes a roller coaster of feelings.  Good, bad, in between. This blog has helped me with my depression. It has helped me cope with the death of my grandfather and even my aunt. The community has helped me when I felt unbearable loneliness. You all made me realize I'm likable and worthy of love when I lost hope that those things were impossible for me. You were even there when my dad and my dog got sick. Soooo yeah I'm grateful of the influence and love you all brought to my life. I appreciate every one of you.

I felt like I've been letting you down recently with my absent of lately though, so I'm pretty confident I'm making the right decision. I've put it off for too long. I'm sorry. I really felt obligated to post here and on tumblr every day, because of you all actually though. Um...I guess you can say I didn't want to let anyone down, but I've done a bang-up job of doing just that huh? Ugh. I'm sorry. I wish I had done this sooner.

I also feel like the community has also changed A LOT. Sims 4 has taken over. Not a bad thing, but it's not a game I'm interested in. Then simblr and sim discord became a thing. I almost don't know how to navigate it all. Either that or I don't have the patience to deal with it. lol It also seems more clique-ish outside the officials, so that sorta sucks. Especially, when you're on the outside looking in. 😅 The community has become completely unrecognizable due to a lot of people leaving too. There's one person in particular that went MIA. Last, I checked they were gravely ill. I wouldn't be surprised if they passed away. It's been too long to check. Frankly, I was afraid to check. I really hope I'm wrong and if not I hope her family finds peace. I think about them often. I think about a lot of you often. I hope all is well with everyone I've called friends here. Even ex-friends. Life is really too short.

Sooo my blog will remain active somewhat for a minute as I finish up comps and post Dead on Arrival stuff. I've thought about deleting it, but I'll keep it up. My Tumblr is a toss-up, but I guess I'll keep that up too. As for Simmetry Design, I handed over the keys already and I feel like it's in good hands. Hopefully, it can make a comeback. 

So to recap, I'm basically clearing my plate for actual life. I thought about this for months. Maybe years. I've cried about it. I erased drafts talking about it. Now I'm fully prepared to accept it. I'm sure some of you will be disappointed. I'm sure some of you will be happy. Some of you may not even care. Either way, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for everything. I'm not going to say goodbye, because it's not goodbye yet. When that end comes I'll be sure to say goodbye, but it's like the beginning of my title said: "The beginning of the end." 💗

P.S. I shall be making announcements on Tumblr and sims 4 & modeling soon. Felt it was more appropriate to post it here first, since this is where it all started. 

Bad Boys & Biatches: Round 1 Pic & Scores

I entered this because Jen (the host) said my pics inspired her to make this so I couldn't resist.

Meet Jade Scott and again, Drew Kelly.

3RD PLACE

🏍 ROUND 1 ~ Biker Couple 🏍

Caught on Candid Camera- Scenario 1

2ND PLACE

Scenario 1- Caught Red-handed

Model: Jade Scott

Scenario 1 summed up by me- Your sim has ran out of money and is down to one outfit. She/he has resorted to stealing. Unfortunately, your sim sucks at stealing and get caught. 

*sings* 🎶 Old school posing. Waiting around in-gammmmeeeeee!🎵

I forgot how sucky it was without custom poses. Remember, we're not allowed to use them for this comp? Well, I'm amazed I got this. 👍

Caught on Candid Camera- Mock

*New comp! All the backgrounds have to be in-game and no created poses*

4TH PLACE
Assignment - Mock

Model: Nicole Riley

Mock Scenario summed up by me- Gardening and Smokey the cat is hanging around for food. He's hungry!

Kinda blah, but not bad. Still getting the feel of this comp and well, my cat kept wandering off. 😒

Sophisticated Man- Finale Scores (Got 2nd...)

Overall Finale Scores- 2ND/Runner Up

1ST for just the Final Round

Final - Leather and Fur

So I won and then I didn't win. Woo!!!

Sophisticated Man- A6 & Scores

3RD PLACE (TIE)

Assignment 6 - Black and White full or 3/4 editorial

Model: Malcolm Payne

I refuse to hear the words, "it's not sophisticated enough." lol 

I build a house that actually works and isn't a box!

See Malcolm likes it.

Should I upload it? It has a few pieces of cc, but nothing major. It's really nice. I was sorta inspired by the color scheme of my own house. Our dining and living room especially. Really happy with it.