Dead On Arrival: Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 4)

Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 4)

"You bastard! Is this a trap?" I yelled as I struggled to free myself from the mask woman's grip. Her fingernails digging into my arm and a gun to my temple. I knew it was no use. I continued aiming my anger at Billy. "You tricked us!"

"No. No. I would never," Billy cried looking just as terrified.

I looked over at Vince and he looked scared. Seeing him like that made it even more evident we were fucked. I gasped for air as my breath quicken. I was feeling sick to my stomach and scared out of my mind. She grabbed me closer and pressed the gun harder to my head as I struggled to keep it together.

I'm shook. Literally. Here's an earth quaking update on life and my lack of post

 We just had an earthquake here. A small one, but it sounded like an explosion and I, unfortunately, I was reading about the tragic condo collapse at the time. So yeah it pretty much scared the shit out of me.

Anyway, I'm fine. I've been under a lot of stress lately. So much stress I had trouble sleeping, I was grinding my teeth, and in just a constant state of anxiety. I ended up contacting my doctor and requesting an appointment with a therapist/counselor. It's been a long time coming tbh. I should have asked for one a while ago. I've gone through a lot of trauma and PMDD doesn't help. With my mom dying before I was 10, traumatizing school bullying, everything that went on with my grandfather after graduating high school, and my PMDD diagnosis, I'm surprised I'm still here. My grandmother has been my rock through it all, but one day she won't be here. My dad is great and does his best, but they're some things he will never understand. So I'm doing this for my mental health and for the future as things will get harder from here.

My stress level has also been heightened by the sudden appearance of family from my mom's side. I haven't seen them since I was 9? So 20+ years?! I tried to give it a chance, but they insist on bringing up the past and hinting at some dark secret that's probably a big ol' fat lie. They hate my dad, so I'm assuming it's about my dad and frankly, I don't want to hear about it. I'm not a tool or weapon for revenge and if that's what they plan on using me for, they can fuck off. I've had enough drama and pain in my life. Their sudden appearance alone has me all messed up in the head because it brought back memories of my mom I had long buried. I'm also sick of them saying they did everything to find me when they knew damn well I didn't go anywhere, but down the street. Like I'm some lost child. I won't say anymore, but it's upsetting.

Not much has happened other than that. Roxie is fine. My grandmother and my dad are fine. I've been to a few interviews, but I'm still unemployed. I haven't given up, but I'm tired on so many levels. Hopefully, things improve soon. Hopefully, my interview skills improve too. I suck at interviews. 

On a bright note, I'm looking forward to writing more and posting more. Let's see how that goes.