Monday, October 4, 2021

Dead On Arrival: Episode 33: Dead Man Walking

Episode 33: Dead Man Walking

The walk to the junkyard was a torturous one. Night had fallen and the rain didn't let up. It was hard to see our footing and our feet felt heavy with the dirt under them turning into thick mud. Our clothes also felt like weights as we were soaked to the bone. There were no breaks on this trip either. We only stopped briefly as Billy fell to his knees at one point

His beaten body succumbing to the pain. He looked as if he would faint. While I was initially suspicious of him, I was sure he was just as much as a captive as me. Maybe worse. They kicked mud in his face as he kneeled over on the ground and they screamed at him. I started to help but they swatted me away. He finally got up and they pushed him nearly knocking him over again.

Monday, September 20, 2021

Has it really been that long?

Been 2 months? Oops. 😓

Well hello, simmers. Miss me? Probably not. I would say I took a break or vacay from it all, but I just felt like not simming or sitting in front of a pc. I've gone through enough this year and I just wanted to do whatever the bloop I wanted. Still going through shit tbh.

First off, my health was something I had to focus on yet again. I was extremely anemic zapping my energy completely. Then I had to go on a stronger anti-depressant for my PMDD. I've been taking the new dosage of my meds and irons pills for almost a month now. I feel a lot better mentally and physically. The iron pills are just a pain because I have to wait a hour before I eat when I take them. Waiting right now actually. I'm hungry. 😭 So far I'm not bitchy or crying or sleepy, so everything is working. I also lost some weight and working on losing more. I gained some pandemic pounds along with just failing to pay attention to my expanding waistband before the pandemic. I'm getting around better since losing some pounds and it helps with energy. 

Secondly, my Uncle C is not helping my stress lately. I believe he has dementia now. I can't be sure and he won't go to a doctor, so I'm just going to go with that. Experiencing a lot of the symptoms now including hallucinations and extreme irritability. I can't blame him getting high off his addiction either because it's almost like he forgot he has those issues, so yeah he's sober for now. He's just a sober asshole though. A giant asshole. He also appears to replace his addiction with sort of another. He's obsessed with food. All we hear all day is "I'm hungry." Good god, it's annoying! He eats everything in sight too. Everything! Then if you tell him to calm down and wait for dinner or something, he throws a tantrum. Stomping around and slamming stuff. I'm pretty sure he's eating his 4th or 5th big meal as we speak. I'm sick of it! If it was up to us, he would be in a nursing home. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. I'm also pretty sure he would become completely sane if we called anybody on him. Saw him do it once when we called an ambulance recently. He was hallucinating and unable to walk, but suddenly he was up and around acting like a normal human being when they came. We don't know what to make of it. No withdrawals. No getting sick. Just a rambling bottomless pit that picks fights and bitches about everything. Pray for us. Pray for me, because I've been wanting to strangle him.  

And thirdly, the other side of the family is still around. I don't mind, but covid is still a thing and I'm trying to remain cautious. Also trying not to stress my dad or my grandmother out. Not going say anymore in regards to them.

So yeah, that's it. Roxie is fine. :) My dad and grandmother are doing ok. I just need a job and some glasses. The pandemic still got stuff all weird, so I'm working on that. Ugh. 

As for simming, I miss my story and the game itself. Will be updating this week hopefully. 

Monday, July 19, 2021

Forgot to post about my birthday. So I've been 32 for a week now.

 It's been in the 90s here in terms of weather, so the thought of being on the heat radiating PC hasn't been all that delightful. Also been dealing with the awkward family stuff, which is starting to smooth out. I had started seeing a counselor, but she hasn't been very helpful. I think adjusting my sleeping habits recently has been more helpful than anything. I'm a lot more clear-headed and anxiety-free at the moment. Also went on several interviews that resulted in rejection letter after rejection letter. That has taken a huge blow to my mental health and ego, but I've decided to focus on other things. Just hope the pandemic allows me to focus on those things as Covid is ramping up again. *sigh* 

As for my birthday, it went well. I ended up going shopping and getting ice cream. I got the most delicious sundae from Cold Stone Creamery. My mouth is watering thinking about it. Was called strawberry blonde with strawberries, whip cream, caramel, and pie crust. I'm going to need another soon. As for presents, I got Pikmin 3 Deluxe and Pokemon Snap for my birthday. They both give me so much nostalgia for my childhood. Both are really fun. Pokemon Snap does give me motion sickness though, so I can't play that too long. Been mostly playing Pikmin. My Pikmin like to commit suicide a lot though by jumping in water, so I scream at my TV a lot. A bunch of little idiots.

B/w I also purchased Ace Attorney Trilogy on Switch and replayed those games. My grandmother is a big fan now since she can watch now. Loves Edgeworth. It's petty funny. Going to get The Great Ace Attorney on the 27th. 

As for Roxie, she's fine. She needs grooming badly. Her fur grows so fast. She's doing ok though. Happy little nugget.

As for Sims, I'm finding my interest going to other games and I feel bad about it. Plan on finishing my story. Maybe I'll play more now that I'm not sleeping half the day away.

But meh didn't want to make a big deal about my birthday this year. Maybe next year. 



Friday, June 25, 2021

Dead On Arrival: Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 4)

Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 4)

"You bastard! Is this a trap?" I yelled as I struggled to free myself from the mask woman's grip. Her fingernails digging into my arm and a gun to my temple. I knew it was no use. I continued aiming my anger at Billy. "You tricked us!"

"No. No. I would never," Billy cried looking just as terrified.

I looked over at Vince and he looked scared. Seeing him like that made it even more evident we were fucked. I gasped for air as my breath quicken. I was feeling sick to my stomach and scared out of my mind. She grabbed me closer and pressed the gun harder to my head as I struggled to keep it together.

I'm shook. Literally. Here's an earth quaking update on life and my lack of post

 We just had an earthquake here. A small one, but it sounded like an explosion and I, unfortunately, I was reading about the tragic condo collapse at the time. So yeah it pretty much scared the shit out of me.

Anyway, I'm fine. I've been under a lot of stress lately. So much stress I had trouble sleeping, I was grinding my teeth, and in just a constant state of anxiety. I ended up contacting my doctor and requesting an appointment with a therapist/counselor. It's been a long time coming tbh. I should have asked for one a while ago. I've gone through a lot of trauma and PMDD doesn't help. With my mom dying before I was 10, traumatizing school bullying, everything that went on with my grandfather after graduating high school, and my PMDD diagnosis, I'm surprised I'm still here. My grandmother has been my rock through it all, but one day she won't be here. My dad is great and does his best, but they're some things he will never understand. So I'm doing this for my mental health and for the future as things will get harder from here.

My stress level has also been heightened by the sudden appearance of family from my mom's side. I haven't seen them since I was 9? So 20+ years?! I tried to give it a chance, but they insist on bringing up the past and hinting at some dark secret that's probably a big ol' fat lie. They hate my dad, so I'm assuming it's about my dad and frankly, I don't want to hear about it. I'm not a tool or weapon for revenge and if that's what they plan on using me for, they can fuck off. I've had enough drama and pain in my life. Their sudden appearance alone has me all messed up in the head because it brought back memories of my mom I had long buried. I'm also sick of them saying they did everything to find me when they knew damn well I didn't go anywhere, but down the street. Like I'm some lost child. I won't say anymore, but it's upsetting.

Not much has happened other than that. Roxie is fine. My grandmother and my dad are fine. I've been to a few interviews, but I'm still unemployed. I haven't given up, but I'm tired on so many levels. Hopefully, things improve soon. Hopefully, my interview skills improve too. I suck at interviews. 

On a bright note, I'm looking forward to writing more and posting more. Let's see how that goes. 

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Dead On Arrival: Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 3)

Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 3)

Billy groaned. "I told you to come alone! What the hell?!"

"She's not supposed to be here," I fumed. "She must have followed me! Christ!"

"Yep," she grinned as she sat down beside me. She opened the twinkies and stuffed them in her mouth. Her cheeks budged out much like a chipmunk as she talked. "By the way, you forgot to mention some guy named, Bones visited us last night. And why is Gemma so weird? It sucks Ace lost his daughter, but that doesn't explain Gemma's wacko behavior."

Friday, April 16, 2021

It's been a strange couple of days...

 Hi. I'm finally feeling better. Physically and mentally. I was really sick last weekend and got the strangest text in midst of being sick.

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Dead On Arrival: Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 2)


 Episode 32: Sundown At Ashfield (Part 2)

He grabbed his backpack and placed his mask inside. He then pointed towards the cemetery front gate and we entered. We walk through rows of graves as we went deeper and deeper into the cemetery.
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