Thursday, July 11, 2013

The job and good ol anixety!

Well the job is going ok! I haven't greeted a single person at the door, but I've been assigned to the toy section to straighten up everything. While thought this would be an easy and fun task, it wasn't. Well at the beginning I felt good and I was having a bit of fun. Then I realize the aisles were a complete disaster! Not only I had to take everything that didn't belong away, I had put everything back in their correct spots. Then it was like the aisles hadn't been straighten out in months, so I had a mountain of stuff I had to sort in my cart! Aghhhhhhhhhhhh! Then couple with that, I had kids coming up asking me questions and putting stuff in the wrong places! It took forever to get done, but I had to leave some stuff to the night shift. Not much, but stuff I had no clue where it went and by the end of shift, my aching body was ready to go home.

Anyway, today was a little different. I did training exercises on the computer and got to sit down a bit more today. After my training stuff though, they sent me to help sort out returns and put them away. I put away towels, sheets and loaded 2 heavy cases of water on a shelf. I didn't realize how heavy it was till I picked it up out the cart. I'm surprise I didn't throw out my back and strain something doing that. I might feel it in the morning. o_0 Then after that, I got stuck with the clothes cart. Sorting and putting back clothes is awful! I couldn't find a thing to put back! After running around the clothing aisle for a good 20 mins, I quietly put the cart back and asked if they needed me back in the toy section. lol So I finished my shift there and got a little praise for the work I did there. She said she could tell I had been through straightening everything. I also helped 2 customers find stuff. Not bad for my 2nd day working there I guess. :)

Now here is my big issue! I believe I have finally pinpointed the source of my anxiety and my latest anxiety attack. Being around people for a lengthy period of time seems to cause me to feel panicky, nervous, worried, and a bit sick to my stomach. I don't mind helping people, but having conversations with co-workers and having the boss just near me makes me feel this way. Then it usually hits me the worse when I get home. I believe it is the same feeling I got at community college. I don't really know what to do about this, but I'm afraid it's going get in the way of my work or make me want to give up. Should I go to the doctor? I really felt like I was having panic attack today when I left. I still feel a little odd. I hope my day off tomorrow relieves me of these feelings for a bit at least. :(

P.S. I'm tired today, so excuse any typos. I also have to stand on my feet a lot. My back hurts. -_-


  1. Vid. I have an associate who works for me that suffers from panic/anxiety attacks made worst by dealing with too many people. I have a great relationship with her. She's like my work daughter, lol. Anyway, I help her by listening to her and letting her vent it out and allowing her to take a break so she can rebalance herself, as well as getting her to refocus and offering advise. Perhaps you need to find someone like that that you work with. For example, if you have someone that works HR.

    The HR Manager is a great person to go to and it is 100% confidential. They will help you work through it. My associate has been with me for more than a year so she doesn't have to go to someone else.

    If you don't feel comfortable, please email me and I can help you through it. I am a great manager at my store and I can help you work through it, if you want, to help ease it a bit.

  2. Hey Em! I still feel kind of panicky now and a little breathless. No one in my family seems to understand why or what I'm feeling either, which doesn't help. -_-

    I really don't know anyone there yet and I'm scare to ask anyone. It almost seems like they have a crew of people waiting in line to replace me if I mess up or can't meet any of their requirements- one being a people person.

    Just today I thought my heart was going beat out of my chest when she told me I could get fired for taking my bag out the locker during work time. She even told me it was my last warning. I think that negative feedback alone made it come on real bad today.

    Once I get into it real good and start really knowing everyone, I might ask for advice there. I'll shoot you pm or email too. This is only my 2nd day, so I'll see how Saturday goes before I bother you too much for advice. I still might shoot you a pm with my email tonight. :)

  3. Wow, that's harsh I must say. If you were on break, than you can take your bag out. Most companies give you 3 months before they decide. Two days and a last warning already is a bit extreme and not how it is normally done AT ALL. Maybe the states is different, but I can't imagine it being that extreme. I can see how that would set it off.

    Just do the best you can and just say Yes! Sure thing! I Understand! to show you are committed to keeping this job. Retail IS stressful, but once you get into it, it is also a lot of fun. It can be nerve-wracking to talk to someone you don't know especially when you have anxiety. I used to be that way.

    Vid, you are awesome. Just keep telling yourself that. It's good positive reinforcement. My girls know they are awesome, because I tell them all the time. They are the only group of associates who are happy and don't complain at my store. I am working on getting my other dept to be the same.

    And I can tell ya that all the time too!

  4. I know! I was middle of leaving too and making sure it was time to go, so it wasn't like I pulled it out in the middle of the day. I just grabbed it out of habit since I was headed for the door once I checked out and decided to tell her I was leaving. I know she told me once before that morning when I came up to her office with it in a hurry to be on time, but to already threaten to fire me is a bit much. She did say she was trying to save me from being caught and fired by someone else. Nice, but I would of got it just fine without the last warning part tho. -_-

    I can see what you mean about it being stressful, but I can see how it can be fun too.

    I have tried talking here and there to my co-workers. Some of them are ok, but it's difficult for me to actually have a conversation with them. I usually just resort to my phone on break time, so I don't have to talk to anyone. I'm hoping I can slowly get out of that habit and get rid some of the anxiety.

    And thank Em. I'm going try to keep that in my brain. It's hard with it being such a new experience. Hopefully I can impress them enough that they keep me and they can trust me to do a good job.

  5. Hang in there, Vid, it's early days and you'll feel more comfortable talking to the other staff when you've been there for a while. Starting a new job is always stressful even if you don't suffer from additional anxiety. Just stay calm and smile and remember that all your online friends are rooting for you. :)

    1. I hope it's get bit better as time goes on. I'm just so new to everything. I'll try to keep positive and not get so worked up about every little mess up I make.

      I'm so glad to have you guys in my cheering section tho. :D

      I also woke up this morning and realize that my diet these past few days hasn't been the healthiest. I haven't drank much water at all and I keep drinking coffee before work. Coffee could be causing my anxiety to flare up more than usual and messing my with sleeping habits. I had quite a bit of coffee yesterday. D:


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