Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Update on Roxie and other things *mumbles*

Not a happy post, but I'll try to make it a little less gloomy than what I had typed up in my head.

First off, Roxie (my dog) will need surgery for ACL/tore ligament. She is schedule to go next Tuesday and it will be roughly 1200 dollars (depending on weight and size). She's going be there overnight for a day and she's going come home with a cast. On the bright side, I'm hoping it's the white one you can draw on it. :P I just hope everything goes well.

As for me, I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I'm tired all the time/exhausted, emotionally numb some days, and I'm having hard time concentrating on my work/studies. Then I'm clenching my teeth from what I believe is stress? Either that or anxiety, or a panic attack. I've been going through different variations of this for a week or two and mentioning it to my family is a bit of a waste.  I either get "get over it," "relax," "you're too old to be this upset," "you're probably just tired" or they ignored me. I think that may be why I'm bit numb. I know they mean well, but I can't relax and school won't let me. Heck life won't let me!

Well some days I'm fine and coming online makes me completely forget about my worries. Playing Seasons has become a complete escape, but my 12 week classes are coming to a close soon. The pressure is stressing me out to the point I can't concentrate and I feel physically sick. I don't even know if have the drive or want to be journalist/writer anymore. It's seems silly now. Maybe it's just doubt, but I'm really beginning to feel really lost as what do in life. I feel like I'm going through the motions and doing what other people want me to do or what they expect of me. I am just as lost as I was before. :/

*sigh* Well enough of that. I refuse to go any deeper or write a novel. Maybe things will get better. Going try to keep sim related and less about RL at the moment. Will hopefully have a happy update on Roxie if anything.


  1. As a suggestion, if you can, perhaps plan to take some time off - even a year off if it's possible. Travel, or work (or both). Do something to give your mind a real break from study for a while. It can be really great for helping with panic attacks and stress (that's what I found, at least). I know that getting away is not always easy, though. I hope you get to do something that will help.

    Also, thougths for Roxie. I hope she'll be okay. Did you get my "get well" message?

    - GalateaCc

    1. No, but I just saw it. Agh I thought I had your blog on my blog list. D: Aw thank you so much. *glomps*

      I may take a break afterwards and then go back. My uncle told me a lot people do that. It's harder than I expected it to be. Going think about it.

  2. There is nothing silly about wanting to be a writer/journalist so don't even think like that and the fact that Roxie has to have surgery and the Holidays coming up aren't making things any easier. Also, keep in mind that you can change your major if you really don't want to write.
    In the meantime, wait for Roxie's surgery to be over and the Holidays and then try and decide what you want to do.
    Sending thoughts to little Roxie for a speedy recovery and for you to have a Happy Thanksgiving. :)
    I'm logged into MSN too.

  3. Aw Vid, I'm sorry you are having a rough time. At least Roxie is getting the treatment she needs and it'll be the Christmas vacation for you soon. Hang in there :)

  4. Thank you guys so much. I thought you guys may think I'm crazy woman when I woke up this morning. lol I'm better, but that's probably because I'm thinking about Thanksgiving dinner more than anything. I'm so happy I can freak out and let crap go here tho. I felt a lot better after making this post.

    I definitely think Roxie, 2 English papers being due in a row, test, and me totally flopping at my speech all in a spam of 2 weeks didn't help. I was fine before and now my brain wants to go on vacation early. D: I'm trying really hard to finish everything out and not fail.

    I really beginning to hate writing essays too and it's making me wonder if doing a job with all I do is write is a good idea. :? He's seriously killing me with these papers. I'm running out of topics. >_> Then Speech class is awful! More work for something I don't want to do. Having two classes I really dislike doesn't help.

    It also sucks going to a college where almost everyone is going for nursing. Literally everyone! I wish they had more creative majors. Hmm...I can't draw good enough to do art, writing is harder than one may think, and computer programming is math. I wish they had photography. *sigh* I really hope I can find something to be passionate about it soon. I'm not really sure if writing is what I want now. I'll figure out I guess. -_-

    Again thanks guys. You all so amazing! Thank you for understanding. :)

  5. Oh and things could of been worse for Roxie. She could of been really sick, so thank goodness it's something that can be fix. She'll be alright. Thanks for the well wishes. :)

    B/w I'm going miss her for the one day she's gone tho. Going be weird and quiet. *sobs*


Google Analytics Alternative