RIP to my fur baby, Roxie

RIP TO MY SWEET BABY, ROXIE. Sweetest and smartest dog I know. Also the funniest. ❤️

She was 14 and died of kidney failure today. She was suffering and I had no choice. Watching her unable to walk the night before was gut wrenching. She was in a lot pain. She also wasted away to nothing no matter how much I fed her. I tried so hard but it was in vain. I knew it was time. I knew today would be that day. I stayed till the end. I'm still not over my grandmother's death and now this. I feel gutted. My dad also loved her so its hard for us both. She may be a dog but she was family. Rest in peace little one.🙏🏾

Copy and pasted this from my fb as I cant bring myself to type anything else. I'll talk about it more soon but I can't right now. I'm hurting. 

Hey! Hello! Anybody still here? I'm back!

I don't even know what to say. A lot happened. Like I said in a previous post, I got a job. I moved out of my grandmother's house and out of the city of Baltimore. Me, my dad, and Roxie (my dog). I found an apartment for us. Then I got my toxic leech uncles evicted as they were just living for free while being total assholes to us. After moving, I realize that I put up with a lot of abuse from them. Mental and verbal abuse. I was scared to express myself. Wear certain clothes items and I was deemed a slut by one. Gained weight and I was deemed fat by the other. All criticisms and no positivity as my dad said. Even in the wake of my grandmother's death, I felt like a piece of furniture to them. My dad was disgusted and outraged by their treatment of me. He came to the realization himself as to how truly toxic they BOTH were. He credits me for saving our lives as I never gave up on finding a place and I took a job that was backbreaking work to achieve it. Tbh, I was terrified of getting my job and moving. I had no choice really. Even if my uncles (gags I hate calling them that) had left, we couldn't afford the bills that came with it and we would've been living in poor conditions. The house sustained too much water damage from my uncle flooding the house and became a mold-filled hell hole. Selling it was the kindest thing we can do for it. The city would have taken it and it would have become another abandoned property courtesy of the city. At least now it will be fixed up and sold to a family who can make new memories with it. Unfortunately, we have to split the money with freeloaders due to no will. Still, I'm glad I was able to get them evicted. They don't deserve anything, but they most definitely don't deserve a house!

Some other insane stuff happened in midst of staying at the house and moving. Me and dad were chilling in the living room of the old house one night when we heard a bunch of gunshots. We being used to hearing that as it's the crime-ridden city, didn't really react till a bullet hit the window frame. An actual bullet hit the window frame. The window I was sitting behind. We both freaked out. I was shaking and crying. Police came and roped off the street. I'm very happy to be out of the city because of that. I have no plans of returning to the city anytime soon. Then my dad got in an accident with the Uhaul. Wasn't his fault. Some dumbass hit him. That was scary and delayed our move. He wasn't hurt and we hadn't loaded it up with our stuff when it happened thankfully. It shook him up though. I immediately found a replacement company to move. I even saw a car explode out back in a lot located out back near the house. I honestly started to question if I was in some disaster movie or life simulator at some point. Thankfully, my life is somewhat boring again. Hoping it stays boring and normal.

So speaking of normal, the job is still going well so far. I've been working there for 9 months now. I'm considered their most hard-working and dependable worker. I like who I work with. They accept me in all my weirdness and awkwardness. Everyone says hi to me and knows me by name. I'm used to being treated like crap at jobs that it's shocking to receive such kindness. Speaking of kindness, the county where I'm living now is amazing. Everyone is so nice and friendly. Then it's super convenient as stores are everywhere and my job is only a few mins away. It's wonderful. I'm looking forward to summer so Roxie and I can hang out in the park. They even have dog oriented restaurant here. It's adorable. I hope I can take her there. I just don't look forward to the bugs. The bugs are different here. 😖  I do like squirrels tho. They're so many squirrels here.😊

Roxie is doing fine. She turned 14 years old in February if you can believe it. When we moved, she was anxious and confused. I held her and put her in my bed the first night to calm her down. She snored in my ear the whole night and was back to her usual self the next day. She adjusted almost immediately. She was happier and even stopped coughing. Unfortunately, she is not in the best health now. She is skinnier and losing hair now. She has concerning spots and lumps that worry me. She's not as energetic and doesn't play with toys anymore. The only thing she truly enjoys is food and rolling around my room. She has a vet appointment, so hopefully, they can make her feel better and calm my fears. We don't need any more heartbreak right now.

As for me, I'm good. Still healing. I went through a bout of anger and depression as I said in previous post. My hair broke off from stress giving me shorter hair. I cried about it when I got the big cut, but I don't hate it now. It's sort of liberating. It's like a bob cut. I plan to dye it purple soon. Then I'm going to rehaul my whole wardrobe, get a second piercing in my ears, and get my nose pierced. Also working on getting a learner's permit. I'm fucking serious this time. I'm going reinvent myself into the person I want to be outwardly and inwardly with no fucks given. I already have new glasses which were much needed. Whenever I get the rest of my tax money, I'm getting a PS5. I also need more furniture. Like a couch for one. I need to price that. The job hasn't made me permanent yet but I'm hoping that's coming soon. I like my job, but the pay is sort of sucky with seasonal/temp status. >_<

I'm probably forgetting something, but eh. My dad is fine by the way. Still, missing my grandmother, but he's healing. We both miss her so much. :( He's happy to be in the county though and he's proud of me. 💖😊

Ok, for why I'm here. Sims. I don't have Sims 4 but I still have Sims 3 installed. I don't know if anyone cares to see my shit anymore. Whatever. I'll still post and play on my days off. So expect some shit soonish. Maybe today if I don't fall asleep. I get internet access recently and brand new light-up speakers that match my PC. Fuckin ready to go and fire up the game! I'm back bitches!

P.S. I've been working 5 days a week and I plan to go back to 4 days, so I'll have more time BS in life and here for real. :D

Forgot to post about my birthday. So I've been 32 for a week now.

 It's been in the 90s here in terms of weather, so the thought of being on the heat radiating PC hasn't been all that delightful. Also been dealing with the awkward family stuff, which is starting to smooth out. I had started seeing a counselor, but she hasn't been very helpful. I think adjusting my sleeping habits recently has been more helpful than anything. I'm a lot more clear-headed and anxiety-free at the moment. Also went on several interviews that resulted in rejection letter after rejection letter. That has taken a huge blow to my mental health and ego, but I've decided to focus on other things. Just hope the pandemic allows me to focus on those things as Covid is ramping up again. *sigh* 

As for my birthday, it went well. I ended up going shopping and getting ice cream. I got the most delicious sundae from Cold Stone Creamery. My mouth is watering thinking about it. Was called strawberry blonde with strawberries, whip cream, caramel, and pie crust. I'm going to need another soon. As for presents, I got Pikmin 3 Deluxe and Pokemon Snap for my birthday. They both give me so much nostalgia for my childhood. Both are really fun. Pokemon Snap does give me motion sickness though, so I can't play that too long. Been mostly playing Pikmin. My Pikmin like to commit suicide a lot though by jumping in water, so I scream at my TV a lot. A bunch of little idiots.

B/w I also purchased Ace Attorney Trilogy on Switch and replayed those games. My grandmother is a big fan now since she can watch now. Loves Edgeworth. It's petty funny. Going to get The Great Ace Attorney on the 27th. 

As for Roxie, she's fine. She needs grooming badly. Her fur grows so fast. She's doing ok though. Happy little nugget.

As for Sims, I'm finding my interest going to other games and I feel bad about it. Plan on finishing my story. Maybe I'll play more now that I'm not sleeping half the day away.

But meh didn't want to make a big deal about my birthday this year. Maybe next year. 

Oops! Disregard that last post...

I accidentally hit the post button instead of the save button. You might have seen DOA latest episode early. No pics tho, but still...

AGHHHHHHHHHHH! Blogger draft changed and I hate it!

It's 2020! Happy New Year!!!

Have a good one! Hopefully, this year is better than the last!

It's Xmas! WOOO! I'm excited!!!! Can't you tell?!!!

Sorry, I forgot to make a post for the other holidays. >_< But...

Feel like a kid again this year with all the goodies. My presents this year shall include Pokemon Sword, Blacksadd: Under the Skin, & Luigi's Mansion 3! 😁

Still haven't finished my Black Friday sale game, Days Gone so I'm packed to the brim with games. Fun shall commence!

Hope your holiday is full of fun as well. 💗🎄

Hi! Still here!

Tumblr finally decided to get off their asses and delete the porn blog who reblogged my selfies, so that's nice. TBH I sorta took a break from sims and everything related after New Years. Even put myself out there and tried to see if I could get a date online. That failed as it wasn't really a dating site, to begin with, but now I've somehow found myself back here.

Still in online college completing my course for my vet tech degree as well. Hopefully, this year I'll be working at a vet giving my love to all the furbabies who need some extra TLC. 💗

P.S. It really feels like I've been gone for a while. xD I might not delete my tumblr, but it will be strictly sims now since porn bots are still thriving reblogging s**t. Posting here more will still be a thing though because Tumblr still sucks. 

3...2...1...Happy 2019! Happy New Year!

Still here. Still furious with Tumblr, so I'll be posting most sim and story related post here now. If I do post on Tumblr, it will be brief and in bulk with it mostly being story related for those following my story there. I still plan to delete my Tumblr soon tho. Tumblr support won't even answer me and I'm not comfortable sharing a site with porn bots running amuck. Y'all can have it. lol

Anyway, this year will be my last in the sim community. Probably think I'm joking, but I'm not. I really should leave next year tho so I can say "Vidkid20 is leaving in 2020", but I think not. 😜

Have a safe New Year all! May this year be better than the last. 🎆🎇

Merry Christmas!

Didn't get everything I wanted, but I do have Smash Bros. so I'm off to play that. Have a good one all. 

Telltale Games UPDATE/RUMOR: Walking Dead to remain unfinished. Ends ep 2?

https://kotaku.com/sources-telltale-hit-with-major-layoffs-possible-shut-1829233618\

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/report-telltale-games-shutting-down-the-wolf-among-us-2-and-stranger-things-canceled

Nope. This is a bad dream. I won't believe it. I hope this isn't true. If so, I hope people can get a refund on their season passes. I'm sure glad I waited. Yikes.

RIP TellTale Games! It's over and Wolf Among Season 2 canceled! I'm in mourning!

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/report-telltale-games-shutting-down-the-wolf-among-us-2-and-stranger-things-canceled

I've been so excited for Wolf Among Us Season 2. I waited for years! YEARS!!! Now it's fucking canceled. Not only that I will never get to play or see Batman Season 3. I even liked Game of Thrones ok and that's donezo too. Literally, no more games from them. One of my favorite gaming companies is gone. I'm heartbroken! Devastated! I actually got teary eyed. This is worse than the time Capcom fucked up and didn't localize AA Investigations 2. Not only us gamers lose out, but the people working there lose their jobs also. This is awful. Awful!

At least they plan on finishing the Walking Dead series, but with a skeleton crew, I worry that it will be rushed and not a fitting end to the series. 

This is just fucking horrible. I can't even right now. All the time I've put into completing these games and now I will never get to see the results of my choices or see the ending of these beloved characters. Just when they were getting better too. Ugh. This literally ruined my day. Maybe week. So freaking sad. *sigh*

I'll miss you, Bigby! I'll miss you Bats and Cats! *cries*

Beginning of the End. My Time in the Sim Community.

It's crazy. I wrote this post in 2017. A year ago. I've since adapted for this year and this time of my life, but it still reads the same and is eerily similar to my current thoughts. I guess it's time to finally unleash this on the simming world.

Ok, so this has been coming for a while now.  I've come to a decision that I'll be leaving the sims community very soon. It has become more of a chore than a stress reliever for me. Dragging myself on here sometimes is work. More work than fun really. Don't get me wrong I still love the game, but I've spent ridiculous amounts of time devoting my life to it and the community. I really started to notice it in 2016 before I wrote this. Maybe even as early as 2015, but this is waaaaaayyyy overdue obviously. I started this blog 8 years ago. I believe I was 21 at the time (fuck math). I had just turned 20 when I joined the community, so that's 9 years. Anyway, that's a long time. I've been on various forums/communities and I never stuck around long enough on any of them to make any friends like I've had here. So the sim community is something special to me.

Now I must say I'm not entirely done just yet as I plan to finish some things I've started. I want to have somewhat of a conclusion to my story, Dead on Arrival and I want to finish any competitions I'm in. I really don't like things unfinished. It feels wrong and I owe you. So within the next months, I'll be slowly clearing off my plate and taking time to finish those things at best I can. Even so, I will be around less and less as time goes on. It's not easy to consider that even, but my interest has shifted to more important things. Going back to school for a Vet tech degree, family, and my lack of a social life. It would also be nice to not have to stress about sim modeling, my editing skills, my few simblr likes, and having to post stuff just for the heck of it. lol I have enough anxiety as is and it's really not fun with my health issues sometimes.

Nevertheless, it's been a fun ride. A highly addicting ride. Sometimes stressful. Sometimes a roller coaster of feelings.  Good, bad, in between. This blog has helped me with my depression. It has helped me cope with the death of my grandfather and even my aunt. The community has helped me when I felt unbearable loneliness. You all made me realize I'm likable and worthy of love when I lost hope that those things were impossible for me. You were even there when my dad and my dog got sick. Soooo yeah I'm grateful of the influence and love you all brought to my life. I appreciate every one of you.

I felt like I've been letting you down recently with my absent of lately though, so I'm pretty confident I'm making the right decision. I've put it off for too long. I'm sorry. I really felt obligated to post here and on tumblr every day, because of you all actually though. Um...I guess you can say I didn't want to let anyone down, but I've done a bang-up job of doing just that huh? Ugh. I'm sorry. I wish I had done this sooner.

I also feel like the community has also changed A LOT. Sims 4 has taken over. Not a bad thing, but it's not a game I'm interested in. Then simblr and sim discord became a thing. I almost don't know how to navigate it all. Either that or I don't have the patience to deal with it. lol It also seems more clique-ish outside the officials, so that sorta sucks. Especially, when you're on the outside looking in. 😅 The community has become completely unrecognizable due to a lot of people leaving too. There's one person in particular that went MIA. Last, I checked they were gravely ill. I wouldn't be surprised if they passed away. It's been too long to check. Frankly, I was afraid to check. I really hope I'm wrong and if not I hope her family finds peace. I think about them often. I think about a lot of you often. I hope all is well with everyone I've called friends here. Even ex-friends. Life is really too short.

Sooo my blog will remain active somewhat for a minute as I finish up comps and post Dead on Arrival stuff. I've thought about deleting it, but I'll keep it up. My Tumblr is a toss-up, but I guess I'll keep that up too. As for Simmetry Design, I handed over the keys already and I feel like it's in good hands. Hopefully, it can make a comeback. 

So to recap, I'm basically clearing my plate for actual life. I thought about this for months. Maybe years. I've cried about it. I erased drafts talking about it. Now I'm fully prepared to accept it. I'm sure some of you will be disappointed. I'm sure some of you will be happy. Some of you may not even care. Either way, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for everything. I'm not going to say goodbye, because it's not goodbye yet. When that end comes I'll be sure to say goodbye, but it's like the beginning of my title said: "The beginning of the end." 💗

P.S. I shall be making announcements on Tumblr and sims 4 & modeling soon. Felt it was more appropriate to post it here first, since this is where it all started. 

So it's my birthday and I'm 29 now. Great.

It's whatever.

I have a hate love thing with tumblr.

I'm bacccckkk! Well, I never left, but I'm back to posting here more I think. Tumblr is ok, but I feel like the unpopular kid at the lunch table trying to fit in when I'm posting there. I also don't post or reblog enough stuff to keep people interested I guess. I prefer not to spend my day on the computer all day personally. I know you can queue post, but I don't have the patience or the time for that. I don't get how some people can spend all day behind a computer screen now tbh. I could do it in my younger days, but it's like ughhhh so freaking tiring now. Plus I have other crap to do and health issues. Then reblogging stuff just seems redundant to me sometimes.

Tumblr is also too clique-ish for me. I came late to the party, so like everyone has their favs to follow and everyone has established friendships there. I struggle to relate to the new crop of simmers too. Frankly, I struggle to relate to everyone though, so it's just a struggle. lol I've been on there for like 2 years (feels like only a year) and I only get like a couple of "likes" while others get 100s of them. Can I get a third of that?! xD Maybe I don't deserve it, but damn it hurts the ego. 😭

Tumblr does have a nice phone app for posting stuff and a slick interface. It's also good for making short post when I'm a lazy ass. Everyone seems to have gravitated there too. It's not awful. I just have a love hate thing with it hence the title. 😅

So I won't stop posting there, because I do have a few peeps who do follow, like, and comment on my post. I also have a few peeps I'm happily stalking. xD Just won't devote all my time there like I've been doing. Gotta give love to the blog that started me.

Haha, ironically this blog may be dead too. Oh well. I'll still blog here.

As for my time in the sim community in general, I may leave at the end of the year. I don't know. I plan on going back to school for vet tech classes sometime next year after volunteering (going miss the deadline this year), so I know I'm going need to focus all my brain cells on that. I also notice a lot of people have moved on to TS4, which isn't my cup of tea at all. I refuse to pay EA more money for something inferior to what I already have. Just seems like a good time to pick up and go. We'll see. I will hate for all the freaking hours I spent to get TS3 working on this bomb ass gaming computer to go to waste too. Decisions. Decisions. 🤔

Happy New Year! It's 2018!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 

Bye bye 2017! Hello, 2018! 

I pray that this is the way better year for us all.

(Like seriously. I can't do another year like last year. lol)

But have a good one all and stay safe out there. Stay warm too if it's cold in your neck of the woods. Much love to you all. 💗

I'm baacccck. Duh. *points to tumblr* But yeah hi...

My new beast. HP Omen!!!! Also bought a kickass keyboard to match. All an early X-mas present basically. I wanted a Dell, but I was convinced to buy this. Cost less than the Alienware I was looking at too. This baby spits sims out like it's nothing. My game has never been smoother or faster. It's freaking amazing! I'm in love. 😍

I haven't even finished installing all my stuff, but I'm sure it can handle anything if it can handle sims.

Installing Sims didn't go too smoothly, unfortunately. I had to decrap a lot of store stuff and avoid Origin like the plague with the last patch, but I think I finally got it working like I want. It was a pain! Days of pain! I hate to open the launcher again. It's so f'ing buggy uninstalling shit. Ugh. Didn't realize how many eps Sims 3 had either till I had to reinstall all of them. Aghhhhh! Never again!

I reinstalled Pets too again. I'm nervous about the glitches and lag it may cause, but I think this computer can handle it. I cut off the stay option in population control, so that might help.

I did have to drop out of the one competition I was in. I was sad, but I think I need a break from the modeling anyway. Focusing on my story and just playing the game has been something I wanted to do for a while now. I'll get back into it I'm sure, but for now, it's time to chill, write, and keep simming. 😊

I do have some modeling photos and scores I haven't posted here. They're on my flickr, so I'll just steal them from there and post scores for those. Then it's going be legacy pics and story chapters from there.

And yesss I'm back playing my legacy. Woooo! The Edgars Vampire Legacy. I miss that fam. I have some pics of them already ready to post.

Hopefully, everything plays nice and l et's me enjoy the awesomness of my pc. 😁 I'm looking at you launcher and store stuff. 😒

My hard drive is about to self destruct in 1...2...3...

HD SELF MONITORING SYSTEM has reported that a parameter has exceeded its normal operating range. Dell recommends that you backup your data regularly. A parameter out of range may or may not indicate a potential hard drive problem. Press F2 to continue.

I'm getting that lovely message every time I turn on my dinosaur PC along with other errors when running diagnostics on it. I posted about it on tumblr, but I'm just posting this here just in case you missed it. I can get past this message via Esc right now and everything works ok then, but it was extremely slow to boot up today. So much so I thought it died.

I do still have my smart phone (which needs a battery) if it does stop working. I'm still very limited with just the smartphone tho, so I really hope I can get a new PC before this one quits on me.

I have thought about getting it fixed, but it's 8 years old if not older. It would be a waste of time and my father refuses. He's like "will you please just wait and get a new one." lol He's the same way with my phone, but I'm choosing a new pc over a new phone right now.

The PC I'm looking at is about $840. It's a dell like the one I'm using. Called XPS, but not the $1000 one. I don't have many games other than sims, so I don't need anything too fancy. Just something that equals the specs of this, but maybe a little better.

I'm going see if I can actually work on DOA while things are working. I did manage to make a new banner for this blog *points at top*. I'm not crazy about the pose I used for it. I just wanted something up while I could still run sims, so you may see something different later down the road.

It times like this I need a job badly tho. I quit Mcdonald after one awful day with awful people. Haven't had any luck since. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Everything in the city retail wise is closing up. Malls are even dying. Going to start to look like a ghost town if they keep it up. A ghost town full of jobless people. Just what this city needs. I see why people to resort to crime. 😐

New banner in the works....

In case you're wondering why the under construction one is still up. I just haven't got to it. Don't judge me!!! 😅

An update on life currently....

Ok. A couple things have happened these past few months. My birthday happened and went as you know. I eventually got my Nintendo Switch in the mail a week later. My grandmother happened to be looking through the blinds when the UPS dude drove up. The dude literally just left it on the porch, so I'm glad she was looking out at the time. Would have been gone with my f**ed up neighbors.

Now I must say the Nintendo Switch is awesomesauce. I only got a few games, but the best game so far is Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It's a completely beautiful open world with so much to do. Never a boring moment. It's amazing! Plus it's nothing like the Zelda's of the past for me when it comes to saving and dungeons. Like it's the first Zelda game I'm truly content with. Yes, it's still freaking hard, but I love it. xD I also like Mario Kart a lot too and Arms is pretty cool. My only complaint about the Switch is the pricing of the games. $60 dollars for a game that's smaller than a DS cartridge should be a crime!!! That's too damn expensive for any game that's not a PC game. It's double the price of most games I own! I'm going need a job just to keep up. 

Haha, on that note I have a job. Well, I haven't started yet, but my job interview was Friday and manager dude called me up to tell me I was hired that same day. 😃 The job is not glamorous whatsoever. It's Mcdonalds, but it's a job. A job is a job, especially in these times. I believe my city was listed as one of the worse cities to find a job among other things, so I'm lucky to get anything. Especially with my job gap and lack of experience to boot. I was to suppose to receive orientation Monday, but it got moved to Wednesday. Hopefully, they teach me how to use the register come Wednesday, which is a big thing I MUST learn to move up and be able to be qualified for better jobs in the future. I really hope I can handle myself much better in this job. I'm a lot more mature than I was when I was working at Kmart and my meds for hormonal issue really help my anxiety, so I'm hoping this a positive experience for me. TBH, this is where I should have started off at. Oh well. I'm going make the best of this opportunity. 👍

As for anything else....Roxie is fine and almost 7 years old. My grandmother turned a year older and still her spunky lovable self. I got new pets. A bowl full of guppies and they had babies, so that's been interesting. I also have a new favorite show to add to the list. Preacher! I didn't get it at first, but I love me some Jesse, Cassidy, Tulip now.

This woman is my spirit animal.

On a more serious and simming note, I do feel my time amongst you simmers is dwindling. This year may be my last when it comes to the community. As time goes on I feel more and more detached from the community. Maybe it's age, maybe it's the atmosphere, the feeling, or maybe it's just time. I really don't know, but this has been a long time coming. Weirdly enough I do think I'll play sims from time to time still, but I won't be publically sharing any of that if I do. We'll see. The year is still young, so I may just be kidding myself.