Beginning of the End. My Time in the Sim Community.

It's crazy. I wrote this post in 2017. A year ago. I've since adapted for this year and this time of my life, but it still reads the same and is eerily similar to my current thoughts. I guess it's time to finally unleash this on the simming world.

Ok, so this has been coming for a while now.  I've come to a decision that I'll be leaving the sims community very soon. It has become more of a chore than a stress reliever for me. Dragging myself on here sometimes is work. More work than fun really. Don't get me wrong I still love the game, but I've spent ridiculous amounts of time devoting my life to it and the community. I really started to notice it in 2016 before I wrote this. Maybe even as early as 2015, but this is waaaaaayyyy overdue obviously. I started this blog 8 years ago. I believe I was 21 at the time (fuck math). I had just turned 20 when I joined the community, so that's 9 years. Anyway, that's a long time. I've been on various forums/communities and I never stuck around long enough on any of them to make any friends like I've had here. So the sim community is something special to me.

Now I must say I'm not entirely done just yet as I plan to finish some things I've started. I want to have somewhat of a conclusion to my story, Dead on Arrival and I want to finish any competitions I'm in. I really don't like things unfinished. It feels wrong and I owe you. So within the next months, I'll be slowly clearing off my plate and taking time to finish those things at best I can. Even so, I will be around less and less as time goes on. It's not easy to consider that even, but my interest has shifted to more important things. Going back to school for a Vet tech degree, family, and my lack of a social life. It would also be nice to not have to stress about sim modeling, my editing skills, my few simblr likes, and having to post stuff just for the heck of it. lol I have enough anxiety as is and it's really not fun with my health issues sometimes.

Nevertheless, it's been a fun ride. A highly addicting ride. Sometimes stressful. Sometimes a roller coaster of feelings.  Good, bad, in between. This blog has helped me with my depression. It has helped me cope with the death of my grandfather and even my aunt. The community has helped me when I felt unbearable loneliness. You all made me realize I'm likable and worthy of love when I lost hope that those things were impossible for me. You were even there when my dad and my dog got sick. Soooo yeah I'm grateful of the influence and love you all brought to my life. I appreciate every one of you.

I felt like I've been letting you down recently with my absent of lately though, so I'm pretty confident I'm making the right decision. I've put it off for too long. I'm sorry. I really felt obligated to post here and on tumblr every day, because of you all actually though. Um...I guess you can say I didn't want to let anyone down, but I've done a bang-up job of doing just that huh? Ugh. I'm sorry. I wish I had done this sooner.

I also feel like the community has also changed A LOT. Sims 4 has taken over. Not a bad thing, but it's not a game I'm interested in. Then simblr and sim discord became a thing. I almost don't know how to navigate it all. Either that or I don't have the patience to deal with it. lol It also seems more clique-ish outside the officials, so that sorta sucks. Especially, when you're on the outside looking in. 😅 The community has become completely unrecognizable due to a lot of people leaving too. There's one person in particular that went MIA. Last, I checked they were gravely ill. I wouldn't be surprised if they passed away. It's been too long to check. Frankly, I was afraid to check. I really hope I'm wrong and if not I hope her family finds peace. I think about them often. I think about a lot of you often. I hope all is well with everyone I've called friends here. Even ex-friends. Life is really too short.

Sooo my blog will remain active somewhat for a minute as I finish up comps and post Dead on Arrival stuff. I've thought about deleting it, but I'll keep it up. My Tumblr is a toss-up, but I guess I'll keep that up too. As for Simmetry Design, I handed over the keys already and I feel like it's in good hands. Hopefully, it can make a comeback. 

So to recap, I'm basically clearing my plate for actual life. I thought about this for months. Maybe years. I've cried about it. I erased drafts talking about it. Now I'm fully prepared to accept it. I'm sure some of you will be disappointed. I'm sure some of you will be happy. Some of you may not even care. Either way, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for everything. I'm not going to say goodbye, because it's not goodbye yet. When that end comes I'll be sure to say goodbye, but it's like the beginning of my title said: "The beginning of the end." 💗

P.S. I shall be making announcements on Tumblr and sims 4 & modeling soon. Felt it was more appropriate to post it here first, since this is where it all started.