Currently juggling my heath and my job at slave-mart...

Well if you haven't my seen chat box, I had to go the ER just recently. I don't take joy into going to the ER. If I'm not curled up dying on the floor, I would rather skip going there and spending my life sitting in a waiting room. So my recent health scare was bad enough I had to call out of work and go. I don't want to go into details as it's a gross subject and I would like to get a complete diagnose before making everyone worried, so I'm not going speak on it much at the moment.

This is coming at very bad and awkward time for the job though. That being we have a new head manager and the holidays. I have to work on Thanksgiving for most the day. From Wednesday to Friday, I got to work 2 to 11. I really don't appreciate having to work on Thanksgiving. They should ask someone who needs the money more and has the time to do it. I don't even have the energy to do it now. I don't know how I'm going get through those days in my current state really. My stomach among other things kind of drains any patience or care to do my job properly. Walking around and standing on my feet all day with an annoying nagging pain sucks! Tylenol didn't even really help me today. (I stayed home today by the way.)

Then it's the attitudes of the managers that is just making me feel even worse. The day I went to the ER, one manager asked me to come in early and sounded more disappointed than anything that I wasn't going be able to come in. Then the next day I came in (didn't want to) and they ask me if I wanted to come in on my off day to make up time. I knew they would ask that, but just automatically thought I was magically better for some reason. Today though just pissed me off beyond belief. Unfortunate, but still pretty sh**y of him. It's a job, but I really wish they would take more consideration that their employee aren't f'ing robots. Well I called in again today a little too late for the new manager liking and dickhead put an infraction on my record. For one I had went into a long explanation about my health, medicine and even told him my issues since Mr. Nosey asked, but after telling him all that crap he decided to quote the rules to me and said it would be a write up. The last thing I need to hear is the f'ing rule book and my record when my stomach is hurting and I woke up out my sleep to call you! You f'ing asshole! I might as well had kept sleeping as it's basically consider a no show now. Thanks dickhead for wasting my time! It took him 10 mins just for his old ass to answer! I wanted to politely kick him in his face through the phone, but that is physically impossible unfortunately. *pouts*

I really can't see me working there long. They may fire me before I quit, but either way I really could care less. I'm scared and worried about f'ing self right now. I could have a serious illness and they wouldn't give a f***, so their needs are not a concern for me. Heck a cashier fainted once and they asked her to come in the next day anyway, so I shouldn't be surprise. The HR manager did tell the annoying new guy recently that a lot of the people who he had been working there already when he started are going be gone soon. Don't know why she told him, but I fit into that category. I got yelled at the day before heading to the ER for not maintaining my section to their liking and the new guy does my section more than me, so I don't feel too secured. If they going fire me though, I wish they would just get it over with and let me have my Thanksgiving. If I knew I could find a job after my health stuff is over with, I would quit now. I'm starting to hate that store...

I'm on a retail rollercoaster! lol (Yes another work post)

First of all, I can't believed I missed wishing everyone here a Happy Halloween! My apologies. :( I had to work that day actually. Kind of glad Halloween is over since I was often in charge of keeping that section clean. I didn't mind it at the beginning, because it was hella funny at night when we would try to scare our fellow employees with some of the stuff over there, but then it got really annoying fast. The customers for one would just come in and literally throw costumers all over the place. Then of course we would have to pick them up. It also didn't help that it was millions of them everywhere!!! Agh!

Life so far as an employed person...

I really wish I had some sim related to post, but I'm not going have anything till tomorrow or sometime this week probably. Well you see I'm going play the actual game tonight, so maybe some pics. The only problem is my graphics card wanted me to update it's drivers or something and that again changed the game's screen size. Everything look all stretched out now. I kind of hate looking at it. I'm going google and fiddle with it, but I may have to just put up with it.

Besides that work is alright. Every so often I'll have a panic attack and then everything seems to go back to normal once I see I have nothing to really worry about. Some of my co-workers do tend gossip about people (mostly the females) and that sometimes gets me thinking about what they think of me. Then that just leads me to panicking and not wanting to be around them. It just bring up old memories and fears in me for some reason. They probably do talk about me, but I really need to stop worrying about that kind of stuff. I did have this one girl that ignores me and then gave me some funny looks when I was speaking with someone, but I really could care less! If she wants to play high school, she can go right ahead! lol

I'm still not myself entirely, but maybe this will help....

I've been feeling kind of depressed lately. I thought I might got over my social awkwardness and gain some confidence, but I'm finding it difficult to talk to people at work. I don't relate. I feel like I'm from a different planet from most of them and my mind just seems like it can't function properly when I have to socialize. Customers make it even worse, because I then have to come up with an answer to their problems right on the spot. If everything was like online when you could take your time formulating your thoughts and answers, I would be great. Why can't rl be like online? Ugh. I just suck at talking. I don't even know how to be me around people, because I'm f'ing mess.

Waaaa I don't wanna work this weekend. Not after making this hottie!

*clickable*

Is it possible to marry pixels? He's nameless at the moment, but he's going be my new werewolf. :P

 

Sorry for the lack of post by the way. I was kind of down in the dumps and had a minor annoyance in my game, but I'm good now. Can't wait for Monday when I'm off. I'm going to movies Monday too to see Insidious 2. I saw the first one recently, so I'm dying to see what happens in the next one. It's so freaking creepy and awesome! :)

Job rant: 3 days and 9 hours each of bumnuggetry!

Couldn't think of a title, so I felt like MareNesting my title! Bwhaha! I've worked 9 hours for 3 freaking days! Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....*breathes* Thank God I'm off tomorrow and Friday!

So this week has been a very crappy sucky hurtful week. I don't know what I did to deserve such treatment at my workplace, but it open my eyes to how hurtful and petty people are at jobs.

It started yesterday. I saw 2 of my co-worker fixing up the shelves and putting up new merchandise in my aisles. I offer to help, because they were in my aisle. One of them is really nice, but the other is nasty b****.  I assumed she was ok at the time, but she proved to me she's a bitter toerag! She immediately start sprouting out instructions for me to do and I was extremely confused.  Now I could of lied and acted I knew everything, but I figured this stupid woman would help me and explain sh*t to me. Nope. Instead she told me to go straighten up stuff and to basically get away from her from the way she was looking at me. She instantly became annoyed with me and didn't explain anything.

The job and good ol anixety!

Well the job is going ok! I haven't greeted a single person at the door, but I've been assigned to the toy section to straighten up everything. While thought this would be an easy and fun task, it wasn't. Well at the beginning I felt good and I was having a bit of fun. Then I realize the aisles were a complete disaster! Not only I had to take everything that didn't belong away, I had put everything back in their correct spots. Then it was like the aisles hadn't been straighten out in months, so I had a mountain of stuff I had to sort in my cart! Aghhhhhhhhhhhh! Then couple with that, I had kids coming up asking me questions and putting stuff in the wrong places! It took forever to get done, but I had to leave some stuff to the night shift. Not much, but stuff I had no clue where it went and by the end of shift, my aching body was ready to go home.

Anyway, today was a little different. I did training exercises on the computer and got to sit down a bit more today. After my training stuff though, they sent me to help sort out returns and put them away. I put away towels, sheets and loaded 2 heavy cases of water on a shelf. I didn't realize how heavy it was till I picked it up out the cart. I'm surprise I didn't throw out my back and strain something doing that. I might feel it in the morning. o_0 Then after that, I got stuck with the clothes cart. Sorting and putting back clothes is awful! I couldn't find a thing to put back! After running around the clothing aisle for a good 20 mins, I quietly put the cart back and asked if they needed me back in the toy section. lol So I finished my shift there and got a little praise for the work I did there. She said she could tell I had been through straightening everything. I also helped 2 customers find stuff. Not bad for my 2nd day working there I guess. :)

Now here is my big issue! I believe I have finally pinpointed the source of my anxiety and my latest anxiety attack. Being around people for a lengthy period of time seems to cause me to feel panicky, nervous, worried, and a bit sick to my stomach. I don't mind helping people, but having conversations with co-workers and having the boss just near me makes me feel this way. Then it usually hits me the worse when I get home. I believe it is the same feeling I got at community college. I don't really know what to do about this, but I'm afraid it's going get in the way of my work or make me want to give up. Should I go to the doctor? I really felt like I was having panic attack today when I left. I still feel a little odd. I hope my day off tomorrow relieves me of these feelings for a bit at least. :(

P.S. I'm tired today, so excuse any typos. I also have to stand on my feet a lot. My back hurts. -_-

Job rant: Have we gotten this lazy?

Have we got this lazy as a society that we now have to conduct job interviews over the phone? Seriously what happen to first impressions IN-PERSON!!! I had the most awkward interview ever over the phone today. I was little upset at first about it, but it kind funny afterwards. I guess I did alright and didn't sound too dumb, but I bet money they pick someone else. Oh well. I did my best! I'll just be back on the job hunt if they don't call me and that's cool! To get as far as an interview with zero experience nowadays, that's an accomplishment in itself! xD

P.S. Now to post something sim-related, because it's too much off topicness going on. lol